“Self-Care” is a term that was coined in the 1950’s in the medical field. It began with discussion around the importance of people with post traumatic stress and patients who were institutionalized and their need to have purpose and meaning in their life. The term then travelled into the civil rights activists groups.

Now days the term self-care is thrown around like confetti. What exactly is self-care and why does it matter?

Well, here are my two cents and I would love to hear yours!

Obviously, we all know the importance of physical self-care….take your medicine, get regular check-ups, don’t skip your mammograms, drink lots of water, sugar is our enemy, etc… These are the physically important self-care items. They matter.

Then we look at the emotional side of things. We are created for companionship and relationship. We are not meant o be alone or to carry the weight of the world alone. It is vital that we have time and space and safe places/people to outwardly express our emotions. Does anybody else get lost in their head? I do! All the time. The more I turn over and examine and manipulate and overanalyze things in my head, the more confused I get and the worse I feel physically. My muscles tense up, my neck gets stiff, my head hurts, my stomach is in knots, it is impossible for me to stay present, etc…. I worry. I stress. I fret.

This is where the self-care piece comes in. Finding ways to express our emotions truthfully and safely is crucial. That may be in a journal, that may be through song, that may be with a friend or therapist, etc…. The avenue of expression isn’t what is most important. What is more important is that we allow ourselves to wander down that avenue.

Spiritually is another important dimension of self-care. What are we doing spiritually to care for ourselves? Lighting candles? Praying? Talking to God? Spending time with others in soulful conversation? Reading? etc…. Connect to higher power matters. It helps define who we are. It helps us find our place in the universe. It comforts us.

Then you’ve got self-care items like: baths, exercise, a cup of tea, sitting in the sunshine, fresh air, etc…

All of this matters. Here is the hang-up that I hear with my clients all the time…

“Self-care feels like another item on my to do list.”

When it feels this way, it becomes a chore and not a vital part of our every day life.

So here is what I have to offer. Here is how I view self-care…

Self-care,
in it’s most basic form,
is YOU telling YOURSELF that YOU MATTER!

I have a cup of coffee every morning and for a long time it became part of my routine that was unconscious, rushed and unenjoyable. Now I have a cup of coffee every morning but with intention. I haven’t added anything to my to-do list that I wasn’t doing before, I just put meaning behind it.

I pick which mug to use each morning. I take a deep breathe while the coffee is brewing. I sit and drink it either alone or while working, but it’s not on the go anymore. I can enjoy it more if I can be present with my coffee and enjoy drinking it. By making my morning cup of coffee more intentional, I am sending a positive message to myself that I MATTER. My enjoyment of coffee matters.

We are all incredibly skilled at finding our flaws and talking negatively to ourselves. But do we find ways to encourage ourselves? In what ways are you telling yourself that you matter? When during the day are you encouraging yourself to keep going? How do you allow space for your Soul to feel important and worthy of time with you?

These things matter more than we know. I can’t care for or love the people in my life well unless I am caring for and loving myself first. It is basic. If I don’t put on my oxygen mask first, I can’t help anybody else.

So I challenge you, I challenge us, to think of 3 ways big or small that we can take care of ourselves each day. 3 ways that we can send ourselves the message that we are important and that space we occupy on this earth matters. 3 practical ways that the over-used term self-care can become practical, doable and a vital part of our reality.

Leave a comment below on your self-care ideas or rituals, we all need new ideas from time to time!!

Here are 3 that I do regularly that I can’t live without:

1) Pick out my clothes the night before - oh boy does this make my morning less stressful and I save a ton of time because I am incredibly indecisive in the mornings!

2) Sit outside - I love being outdoors and even on days when the weather is bad, I go out on the front porch to take some deep breaths. Some days I spend hours outside and other days I spend 2 minutes, but both renew my soul. Again, it’s not about a giant chunk of time, even a few deep breaths of fresh air help my body relax and my mind settle.

3) Reading - a novel, a biography, anything. Sitting down with a good book feels like instant vacation to me and allows me to escape into another world for as many minutes as I am able.